My Service in Europe

The Buggy Incident

One of my embarrassing times in the Battalion (and I had many) was when I was left manning a communication center located in a farmhouse somewhere in Germany with two other chaps, Corporals Hoskins and Hastings.

The Battalion had taken a breather in the surrounding vicinity and telephone lines had been strung out to the various Companies. After the short breather, all lines were removed and we were told to wait for the closing down command that would be given on the last remaining line we were manning. Great, we thought, and we slumped down to awaited further instructions.

I don't remember if I fell asleep or we all did, but I finally asked one of the Corporals to check and see why it was so quiet and what was happening outside. He went out to look around and found the area was deserted! Good gawd we thought, what the hell happened, and what do we do now?

I had already experienced being left behind by the Bn. once before and I wasn't going to get myself in another jam so I told the lads we had better darned well get our equipment collected and head off in the direction we thought the Bn. would be going.

We had been left with a field switchboard, several field telephones and spools of Don 8 wire, together with our own equipment. The question came up as to how in blazes we were going to be able to take this equipment with us.

The other two were of the opinion that we leave it and get ourselves to hell on the road. I intervened as I figured we were in a delicate spot if discovered on our own should we be confronted by anyone with authority. As I mentioned I had been through this drill once before.

World War II booty: still a kid showing off -  Bulford Barracks, England. (1944)

I went out to an adjacent barn and lo and behold there stood a horse! I also found a buggy so the stage was set. We would hitch the horse to the buggy and be able to transport our 3 bodies and Signal equipment back to our battalion and no one would accuse us of desertion "in the field". We might even get a pat on the back for our ingenuity. Some hope!

In a split second I discovered this horse to be a colt and I swear it had never seen a harness before. What a fuss it made, rearing up and backing away until I managed to blindfold it. From then on things proceeded quite well. Fortunately I had spent many a summer holiday working on a farm so I knew a bit about horses. The colt would NOT back up properly so the twin shafts of the buggy were maneuvered to attach the harness on either side. High Ho Silver, and away we go!

Like the hell we did. As soon as the blindfold was removed the colt reared up and immediately broke one of the buggy shafts in half. After much rearing and bucking, we managed to get the blindfold back on and the colt settled down again. I also wrapped some burlap around the splintered shaft so it wouldn't jab into the colt's ribs. By experimenting we discovered the only way we could get the animal to move was to keep the blindfold on until we had pulled hard enough to get it started walking. After several tries, we got the colt to proceed at a trot and damned near left one of the lads behind. He managed to catch on to the buggy at the back and pulled himself on to our new mode of transportation.

We hadn't the slightest idea where the Battalion had gone and all we knew was that the Bn. were proceeding in a northeasterly direction. Arriving at a junction, we chose the left fork in the road which we thought the Battalion would take as it pointed North East. This junction in the road had a raised island with a pronounced curb so that is what we actually bumped over as we dashed on to join our fellow paratroopers who we thought were just ahead.

Dortmund-ems Canal, on a pontoon bridge. (March 1945)

As we trotted along (quite well now thank you) we took note of the occasional tank in the fields to the left and right proceeding in the same direction. All appeared to be going quite well, when suddenly a siren wailed behind us. Yes I said siren! Of all things strange happening to us, now we hear a siren, here in the middle of Germany! On turning our heads what should be bearing down on us but a Honey Tank (rubber tired scout tank) and, good gawd! it's the Brigadier standing up in the turret and he's all red faced and waving his cane in the air at us. As he drew closer we can hear him yelling at the top of his lungs, "What the bleeding hell do you stupid Canadian bastards think you are doing?" The three of us jumped up saluting and nearly knocked each other off the buggy. We were terrified to have the Brigadier yelling at us. "We're trying to catch up with our Battalion Sir", one of us or all of us blurted out in terror. "Well stop that bloody contraption and turn about immediately , this area hasn't been taken yet, couldn't you see the tanks?" "Yes Sir, No Sir, right away Sir" we shouted and the tank stopped , turned and dashed off in the direction from whence it came.

Now the fun began. Every time we pulled back on the reins slowing the colt, the broken shaft would poke the colt in the ribs causing it to buck and race off again at an increased speed or so it seemed. We had one terrible time of it, trying to stop that stupid horse. Finally when we had slowed somewhat, one of the guys jumped off the buggy, grabbed the horse by the bit and managed to turn it around nearly upsetting us in the process. Back up the road we dashed, only to discover that a Red Cap (military policeman) was now on the island directing traffic etc. in the proper direction. We yelled at the fool when he made signs for us to stop and nearly ran over him as we once again took the short cut and careened over the traffic island. We carried on like this for quite some time and I could see foam collecting on the colt's flanks so I knew the end was near. Finally it broke into a slow walk, stopped and laid down in its tracks. No amount of pulling would budge it so we undid the harness to the buggy and left it there.

Having spotted a farm just off the road and as we walked towards it, a chap came running and yelling "Save me, save me, let me go with you!" etc. etc. Apparently he had helped the allies and the villagers were going to "handle" him when they got him alone. We asked for transportation and he said that there were many bicycles hidden in the barn and we could help ourselves and he requested one for himself. We opened the barn doors and there before us were dozens of bicycles for the taking, and also, quite a few villagers.

Examples of German weapons. (1945).

We grabbed whatever bicycle we wanted and all was proceeding well when one of the lads was confronted by an old woman yelling "Nein" and other German words we didn't understand, as she hung on to the handle bars of his bicycle. The lad yanked but she hung on. He pulled his pistol and pointed it at her and still that old biddy hung on so the guy yelled, "What the hell am I going to do?" and I yelled "Bang her on the fingers." which he did and she screamed and let go and we were off to the buggy where we loaded all the Signal equipment we could carry. We left the reels of wire behind as they were easy to replace. The equipment was the important thing.

We finally made it back to the Battalion and I was immediately placed under arrest. I was marched in before my Colonel and was told I had been charged by the Brigadier. Even though the Colonel believed my story, I was repeatedly brought before him for several days in case the Brigadier asked him if I had been taken care of I suppose. Fortunately, bringing back that Signal equipment saved our, or at least my neck, and I was finally taken off charge, and allowed to join my section.

War can be Hell!.

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